Lately, my depression has reached a serious low. I’ve spent a lot of time crying, struggling with thoughts of self-harm and worthlessness, lacking motivation or drive to do much else besides go to work and sleep, and I’m starting to feel like I’m not going to feel like “myself” again.
I’ve been doing a few things to try to fight it. I went to my first therapy session (tomorrow is my second), I saw my doctor for an unrelated issue but admitted to her where my mental health stands (we also have a follow up appointment this week), and I’ve been spending less time at home where a lot of my feelings stem, and my boyfriend has been kind enough to let me use his condo as my escape.
However, it’s not enough. I’ve thought a lot about what I can do to change this rut I’m in (I’ve stopped exercising, stopped cooking, stopped drinking lots of water, stopped putting effort into my appearance, etc) and I think I’ve settled on focusing on one thing at a time. My first focus is to start training for a race. I’ve set my sights on and registered for Around The Bay in March 2019 so now I feel like maybe I have something to be accountable for.
Around The Bay is a 30K road race. I’ve heard it’s supposed to be pretty brutal. Most years (barring construction) you have to climb a hill to the finish line (dubbed Heartbreak Hill after Boston’s own hill) and the weather is known for the possibility of being pretty brutal around that time of year in Hamilton.
The plan? I’m going to work for a few weeks to get my base mileage up before I really start climbing. Ideally, Around the Bay is going to be a warm-up to a spring marathon but, for now, I don’t want to think that far ahead.