Seeking a Change

I’m not sure what it is – the transition of winter to spring, having recently taken a real vacation for the first time in two years, or having made sustainable changes in other parts of my life – but I’m really craving a change in my life. Something big.

Part of me thinks I want a life change in terms of purchasing my first house or having a child, but I’ve done some serious thoughts this week and I don’t think either of those two things are what I desire right now (not that I don’t want these things in my life, but that my life will not end without them). What I’ve been thinking about is the Eastern coast of Canada. Somewhere I’ve never been but seems to be calling my name. Not for a road-trip or short vacation, but as a place to live.

I’ve start researching what sort of careers are available to me, what the cost of living would be, and if I could continue to pursue my other passions in these locations (baking, running, life with my dog).

The more I think about it, the more I want it and feel like it’s the right thing for me.

So even though the realistic (OK, maybe pessimistic?) part of me isn’t sure anything will come of this, I’m writing out a plan. And, who knows, maybe I’ll stumble into the next phase of my life, a change different from what I envisioned, but I have this strong feeling that I am about to evolve.

No Longer Running a Marathon

Since getting sick a month ago I’ve found it hard to recover and get myself back to what my fitness levels were. I’m still lifting lighter in the gym, I’m finding my muscles need significantly more time to recover, and running is tough.

I ran for the first time last Thursday and I was really proud. I only ran two kilometers but my pace felt OK just under seven minutes, and I accomplished it outside. But it wasn’t easy. And the thought of running more than two kilometers felt really daunting. All last week I thought long and hard about whether or not I would be in marathon shape by the end of May and as much as I hated to admit it, I knew I wouldn’t be.

For me, marathon number two holds a purpose. Marathon number two is supposed to be really enjoyable while knocking a bunch of time off my only standing record. I knew that it was going to take me more than 12 weeks to get to where I needed to be after three weeks off, and I knew I wouldn’t enjoy the race. Above all else, continuing to love running is the most important part of running.

So yesterday morning I quit my marathon training plan, loaded up a plan for the half, and this morning I officially changed my distance with the race. Honestly, it makes me really sad and it feels like I’ve failed myself. However, if I was talking to anyone else in my situation I would tell them that they’re making the right decision – that it’s the smart thing to do. I don’t want to hate running, I don’t want to end up with an injury, and there will always be another marathon.

But now I’m going to shift my focus to the half and all of the great things about the half. I’ve run enough of them now that I know I could get myself into half marathon shape in eight weeks if I needed to, so 12 makes me feel pretty comfortable. I’m also going to reach for that PR. I know that if I work hard enough and push myself hard enough on race day (I have issues with letting myself be uncomfortable) I can shave quite a few minutes off of my previous times. Plus, I’m still going to be running in my favourite city.


March? Already?

I can’t explain why I feel stressed about the date, but I can tell you this started a few days ago, on the 25th of February. I woke up, checked my phone, and when I saw the date I immediately thought, “WE ONLY HAVE TEN MORE MONTHS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.” Seriously, I started to stress out.

Surprisingly, despite the stress I’m feeling, I’m in a really great mood today. But I definitely keep thinking, Here we are. It’s March. I haven’t accomplished anything. And honestly, this is so far from the truth!

First, I spent six weeks marathon training, and that meant I was running 4-5 times each week. On top of those runs I was lifting weights, cross-training, and going to yoga which means I was sometimes working out twice a day!

Second, I made a decision (which I haven’t yet talked about here) to dive head-first into building a business. I’m a great baker and I’ve started to work on the decorating side of things. I’ve baked a lot of cakes and cupcakes, decorated them, started working on a marketing plan, and have been doing a lot of research and brainstorming.

Third, I went on vacation! Michael and I hadn’t gone on a “real” vacation together in the almost seven years we’ve been together, so this huge. Despite getting sick on vacation we had a great time, learned we can travel well together, and it felt really good to be somewhere incredibly hot as our city was covered in ice and snow.

Fourth, I got sick and was sick for a long time. For three weeks I got my butt kicked by the flu, a general viral infection, and then a cough so awful that walking around the grocery would lead me to cough so hard that I would gag. Once I coughed so hard I actually threw up on my blankets as I was curled up in bed. It was horrible.

I also was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, went to my first NBA game, went to a lacrosse game with my mom and sister for our annual family date, and made a lot of great food.

So even though two months of 2018 are already over, I haven’t been as unproductive as I thought I had been. I have already had a pretty good year and I have high hopes for the next 10 months.

Happy March!