Finding Motivation in Vanity

Since marathon training ended back in October I’ve been finding it hard to be motivated at the gym. To be fair, it’s not just that I no longer need to be stronger and lighter on my feet for 42.2 kilometers. In those six weeks we’ve lost a lot of daylight in Toronto. And by a lot, I mean the sun rises less than 10 minutes before I leave for work in the morning and I watch the sun set from my desk at work. It makes it hard to get up at 4:30AM from my warm bed to get into my cold car and go to the gym. Once this week I tried to go in the evening but it was the biggest mistake of my life – my new gym is super packed after work.

So, I’m constantly looking for my motivation. I feel like I’m being anti-feminist or conforming to societal norms saying this, but my motivation is becoming vanity based. My boyfriend and I are looking to go on a trip somewhere warm in early 2018 and (I can’t help it!) I want to look super hot in a bikini. I know no one on the beach is going to care what I look like, and my boyfriend isn’t going to care what I look like, but guys, the thoughts are there.

Here’s the thing I think it important to state: I’m not reckless in my quest for a hot body. I know that I won’t be losing 20 pounds in 2 months (even 10 pounds is pushing it). In fact, I’m going to focus more on my body fat percentage instead of my body weight. I’m not depriving myself during the holiday season (I have a craft beer advent calendar that I’m HAPPILY drinking through each night) or only eating 1,200 calories (my TDEE gives me a nice 1,800-2000). It’s just helping me make better choices. Instead of a third cookie I’ll switch to a piece of fruit. I’ll say no to that bagel my  boss is offering me when I already ate a really good breakfast or packed a great lunch. And at 4:30 in the morning I am going to wake up for that alarm and go to the gym. Because here’s the thing, although my motivation is to look great, these things are going to make me feel better.

I have a goal, I have a plan, and I’m being realistic and safe. So what’s wrong with wanting to look a certain way?

What’s your current fitness/health motivation?

Hello, December – Ramblings & Goals

Wow, I can barely believe we’ve already reached the last month of 2017. I’ve been in full Holiday Mode since mid-November, but I feel like the rest of the world is finally catching up with me. I’ve finished my shopping, am starting my Christmas baking tonight, and running the Santa Shuffle tomorrow morning. I won’t call you a Grinch, but I see so much love and joy this time of year that I find it so hard to hate the holiday season.

Because the month of December is always so busy I’m not making any big goals. In fact, I’m going to carry on with two things I’ve been really working on lately: hydration and daily steps. Most days I’ve been drinking a gallon of water and getting in at least 10,000 steps, and I find this has had a huge impact on my fitness level. The last three days I’ve been struggling with weird muscle pains in my neck, shoulders, and chest on my left side, so I’ve skipped the gym while focusing on those two things, and instead of feeling guilty like I usually would have, I feel pretty great.

A third goal? I’d like to eat like a normal person. This time of year creates the perfect environment for weight gain, especially for me because I feel like I have a hard time saying “no.” I definitely won’t deprive myself because for me that leads to a binge, but I need to use moderation. I know, people are sick of that word and it has taken on the same sort of buzz that “detox” and “clean” have, but I’m serious. A couple of treats here and there, but I need to eat the meals I prep for myself every Sunday night.

Off topic, but does anyone still buy themselves advent calendars? I have two polar opposites: for the third or fourth year in a row I bought myself a David’s Tea calendar, but I also splurged and ordered Craft Beer advent calendars for myself and my boyfriend. I’m excited to dig into both this month!